Meeting again
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❗ #Emotions posts are very personal and written impulsively to let off steam. Don't judge. Reader discretion is advised.
For a few days now, I’ve been thinking about what it will be like when we meet again. Sorry, psychologist, I know I should think about the “here and now,” but I can’t help it. In three months — and I’m sure this rough period of my life will be over by then — there’s an event, and even though there will be a lot of people there, there’s a good chance we’ll see each other, maybe you’ll only see me, or I’ll only see you, or our eyes will meet. Or if none of these three options happen, I’ll still know you’ll be there, and you’ll know I’ll be there too.
And so I wonder: what will it be like to meet again? Anything can happen on such occasions, but what I would like to happen now, and it’s important to emphasize “now”, is that we meet there. Maybe we’ll say hello from a distance, or maybe we’ll hug, I don’t know. But then in the evening I’d like to ask you to follow me and kiss you in the shadows. And hope that you reciprocate, that the same passion from that week returns, because even if there was no feeling, the passion was there, so why not bring it back?
Maybe after that kiss we’ll go to my place, or yours, and let it evolve, and maybe I’ll say “I missed you” and you won’t answer me, and then you’ll want to go back to the party and I’ll ask you to sleep with me. And maybe I’ll tell you again that I really missed you.
But it would be a mistake, just as it was a mistake to think of inviting you to my place as we had planned some time ago, because now we talk easily as we did before we were together, but that would be an even bigger mistake because, in the unlikely and remote scenario that you say yes, I would then connect parts of my home to you.